Sunday, April 4, 2010

My Pledge to Ants

I made some interesting discoveries today in my kitchen. First, those few ants I saw yesterday wandering my sink were, in fact, the more directionally challenged brothers and sisters of the legion who had discovered the bin of cat food under my sink. Having no bug spray at hand, I grabbed the closest bottle of cleaning spray where I was crouched, Pledge MultiSurface, at which point I made my second discovery: Pledge kills ants! Viola! Now, this is my kind of multitasking: Ridding my home of tiny thieves and cleaning all at once. As I followed the trail along the underside of my counter top, down the corner to the baseboards leading through my dining room and living room, all the way to a tiny crack under my window, I misted the Pledge with delight at their instant paralysis. Several thoughts entered my mind then, while I retraced my steps back to kitchen to get some paper towels,
"I bet this is way more environmentally friendly than bug spray, and it smells better, too! Man,look at all these dead ants...isn't there some band named And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead? Hmph. Here me, ants! You will know meeee by the trail of your little dead ant friends, and you will never return! ...That kinda makes me sad. Poor little guys. Imagine stumbling upon such mayhem and tragedy. I wonder if they're even aware of me. I mean, they don't seem to look up. Maybe to them it's just like a sudsy hurricane. Hmph. Actually, if this stuff kills ants, it may not be such a good thing to be spraying around. Oh well, at least it smells good..."

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